SE4 2NH

well, this is the end of the first week of the second phase of my life. i'm in a beautiful city, in a beautiful house with beautiful people. and i'm sounding gay already. it's crazy, right. i moved in just 10 days ago and already i feel totally at home. initially, it seemed like we were all just on some sort of alcohol-based holiday, cooking family meals and basically having a proper good laugh; but then it dawned that we wouldn't be returning home time soon.
i mean, i love my family and that, but i really had nothing else back there. i was in the middle of nowhere, i never enjoyed school, had a boring job and spent most of my time travelling back and forth from london anyway, so it seemed like a natural step to move my whole life up to this suburb.
as student digs go, we got a fucken sweet deal. like, the rent and exclusive bills are sure to drive us to selling our bottoms to survive, but the location and size of the house more than compensate for that. we now live in a thriving community, riddled with diversity, and, contrary to most people's views, it's not that scary. obviously, there are places you don't go, but you get that anywhere.
you know what? i can honestly say i can't remember being more happy or comfortable in myself. and it's all down to the goons i live with. thanks to them, i am now good at life.

Employ me, please.

this is my CV, as i'm currently going for a job in urban outfitters on oxford street. my aim was to make it aesthetically pleasing, whilst remaining clear and informative. i knew that i did not want to follow the orthodox template for a CV, and so came up with the idea of adding an illustration to give it another dimension but it was kirsty who suggested i did it on the typewriter (that girl's a genius) and thus the text stands out from generic word processed applications. by adding a picture i have made the plea more personal, while also giving them something more than my experience to judge me on. i decided to take up an informal and rather idiosyncratic tone, which has allowed me to further distance my style from a standard CV.
yee-haw.

I like to build stuff.

Manda sneezes like Alvin the Chipmunk.

Dolphin Face is a shit band name.

Colour is overrated.

MEGATRON.

So, you saw the preliminary idea for the website. This font is the brainchild of Shoehorn and spawned after a trip to a favourite charity shop of mine. I bought a game that consisted of little wooden triangles and rhomboids of various colours, and then Hugh and myself proceeded to tessellate and ejaculate for four hours solid. The outcome is pretty sweet, and it seems like the teamwork paid off. We might try and sell it, if anyone is stupid enough to fund our drinking habits. Embrace the colours.