If i hear rocket summer one more time, i'll stop the car.

hi. it's before midnight, which is always a morale boost when realising that neglecting your blog is verging on heresy. i would like to say that i have been thinking about the following content all day, but i have had more pressing things to apply myself to, like trying not to cry like a girl when the well-pierced man was clamping my nostril like a 2x4. i wept a mini stream when he inserted, nay, thrusted, the stem of the piercing through my snozz. aside from the feminine squeals escaping from my throat for that half-a-minute of hell, i've had a good day. i saw my girl off into a shifty, unmarked taxi, which was allegedly bound for stansted, and immediately regretted the decision. what the shit am i going to do now with my evenings? bombing to hers at 12.30am to make rocky road now seems like the coolest thing to do when i can't sleep.

freelancing. klaus.

my good friend kitty and i have recently been venturing into pastures new in terms of holiday activities. after the success of our 'cheap!' canvas bags at susanna edwards' budgie show in hackney, we decided that this was something that we could do over the summer to fund our alcohol purchases. using a stolen screen from college, some half price inks and a lot of patience, 'catparts' was born.
so we know someone who knows someone who is responsible for promoting local bands, and we contacted him to ask if he wanted any merch. he obliged and gave us 'klaus says buy the record', a brighton-based troubadour who weaves endearing tales of lost love. i have met klaus aka jon mills on a few occasions in the past and he's a thoroughly nice guy with an enthralling aura about him, so we were delighted to get such a gig (moreover he was recently crowned winner of Red Stripe Music Award, a nationwide search for unsigned talent, that pushed him into the spotlight of the main stage at Great Escape festival in brighton... look
http://playlouder.com/content/16845/klaus-says-buy-the-record-clinches-red-stripe-title)






if anyone cares, our 'cheap!' bags are being exhibited in Tatty Devine on brick lane now.

crossword font 2nd draft.

Yeah, still lacking in finesse, but i think you'll agree it looks more credible in portrait. I really need to work hard on eliminating all of the two-letter answers, because it makes it easier to see that it is not a real crossword. I really like the unorthodox lettering, though.

teapography

Excuse the pun, but these jars are amahzing.
I found them my girl's house and nearly
jizzed my pants.
Original 70s typography for you, right there.
The uniform height and bracketed slab serifs
make me happy to have eyes.

crossword font

This is the first draft of the font I am working on based around crosswords.
Inspired by the "Jumbo Puzzle Book" that amuses me while i do the poo poo,
I am intending to fit the entire alphabet into the negative spaces in the grid
without using the little fillers, so I've got a little way to go yet.

kaleidopope

boredom...

flydoscope knoboscope


didoscope mincepiedoscope

Shiny white orgasm.

No, I didn't jizz everywhere. I've just opened up my brand new macbook. This kind of beauty should be made illegal. There is so much i want to do with it that i don't know what to do with it. Instead of forcing myself to tarnish its infallable white (like a certain Mr. Barrell did) i shall treat it as some kind of deity. Ganesh. Yeah, that one. Eight arms?

There's one other thing that i would like you to acknowledge today. And that is the uncanny resemblance that Xena Warrior Princess possesses to Chyna off of wrestling. On steroids. Look at them both, all bondaged up for your optical pleasure.

FMP SOI BLT STD FBI

For my final major project, i am branding my dad's beer. He gave me the cliched brief of 'Tradition with a twist'. Lame, I know.

Through screenprinting i came up with the brewery logo, which now appears on all my realted work. I have also devised two labels for his homebrews.

Still a long way to go, but I'm pleased with the results so far.

Check back in a week or so, naah?

I've been busy, honest.

Final Major Project is upon us. The problem is that because we had a hench 3 week break for Easter, it's proving near impossible to get back into the right frame of mind to be undertaking a task of such ambition. I am focussing on the amateur enthusiasts behind homebrewing.

By all means have a little butcher's at some of my illustrations etc.